Short Tag Line:
Come on down to the Badd Kitty Club THIS SATURDAY!! Summer Swing Foam Party!!
I/We are looking for
If you have a twisted sense of humor, like to laugh so hard your sides hurt, and enjoy a couple that is comfortable with themselves, Keep Reading!!!
You just might be our kind of people! If you take yourself seriously, take the lifestyle seriously, take life seriously, or can't read - then stop reading!!! We are not for you. We are interested in meeting singles and other couples who are intelligent, and discreet - but love to laugh and have fun. quality, not quantity! We prefer people that we can socialize AND play with. We are selective - so bring your personality and remember that the brain is the largest sex organ. If you have no personality, but you have looks and large sex organs, we might make an exception.
PLEASE READ THIS, IF NOTHING ELSE
We'd love to hear from you - but, have a few requests:
1. Most people never buy anything without doing some research. The lifestyle is no different! If we are going to invest our precious time with you, then put some effort into your profile and have recent, clear face pics of yourselves. It pays to advertise!
2. Please mention something in your note that shows you read our profile. Friendships are important to us and if you're not willing to show who you are or get to know us, then "more" is out of the question.
3. We do not instant message, webcam, text or email nude pics and videos to anyone for work related reasons. DON'T EVEN ASK.
INSTANT TURN OFFS/STUPID SHIT WE'VE SEEN (and the list keeps on growing)
*Those of you with the no kissing rule - move on. You shouldn't even be here. Why we can fuck but not kiss is beyond our comprehension.
*If you post pictures of yourselves wearing a camouflage corset and/or Confederate flag underwear, posed on your muddy four-wheeler in front of your trailer...and then say "wer an exxxtremly proffesional, discrete cpl," we're not going to believe you.
*Men: If you post pictures wearing a wife beater, big gold chains, gang colors, a rhinestone studded baseball cap, sideways, AND your profile sqays NO GHETTO, we're not going to believe you either.
*If your profile says "We are open minded and up for anything. Girl/Girl only." Hmmmmmm
*Men: If you love wearing hipster panties from Victoria's Secrets, please do not share that info with us.
*Please.....No cum shots. We 100% guarantee "she" has NEVER looked at a cum shot pic and said, "Damn, what a load! I gotta meet that one."
* If your profile says "I enjoy giving messages." then send us one! Don't cock-block yourself with spell check, because you meant to say "massages."
*If you're posting a "Hot Date" that says "married white male with hall pass," post photos of the white male with hall pass. Don't the default photo of your wife unless you're willing to cross dress.
* Ladies - if your backside is your best side - Great! But don't forget to hide or cut the tags off of your thongs before you take sexy pics. The U.S. Government will not "crack" down on you from removing them. If you leave the tags on because you can't tell the front of your thong from the back....well, that's just a special kind of stupid we are not prepared to deal with.
* Anyone who says "We're not Ken & Barbie." No shit. You're YOU. We're not Ken & Barbie either. We're also not Fred & Wilma, Shaggy & Scooby, Ren & Stimpy, or Rocky & Bullwinkle. Boris & Natasha? Maybe. If don't know who ANY of those characters are, you are either too old, or too young for us.
*Free members asking for a response, separately emailed pics because you only get 5 emails a day and can't upload or view pictures, not sure/just trying this out, etc: Tough Love. A one month membership on SLS is $14.95. If you can't afford that - then you simply can't afford us.
*If we feel comfortable enough to invite you over, please don't get really drunk and then proceed to break our furniture in some silly sex act because you let your inner freak go after holding it in for 30 years. There is no recovering from that awkward pause when your furniture repair guy asks "How the hell did this happen?"
*Single guys in their VERY early 20's that write "I want an older women like you to teach me how to fuck..." Whats in it for her? You just called her "older" and admitted you don't know how to fuck!!! Warning ... do not email us if your haircut even vaguely resembles Justin Beiber's. She hates that little prick. You'll have plenty of time to comb your hair over when you get older.
*If you're traveling from out of town and here for the night - do not drop us a note at 3pm asking if we are available to play at 7pm. You had to plan ahead to get HERE - why not make plans for your other head at the same time?
*We realize taking a naked picture of yourself is awkward. But if you gotta do it, and the only mirror in your home is the bathroom - may we suggest cropping out the toilet, then at least flush it first.
*If your profile name is "shycouple__" and you have 60+ certs, you are full of shit. There is nothing "shy" about you, sluts. :)
*Condoms are a must. Other condom related rules we have: no whining about how you hate condoms, no whining why you couldn't bring condoms with you, no whining why you can't wear them or never had to, and no whining when the condoms are too big or too small. Wanna play? Dress the game.
*If you send us hateful messages that say we're full of ourselves and she's a prima donna...then block us before we can respond, THANK YOU. You did us a HUGE favor by removing your toxic selves from the SLS gene pool.
*If you invite us to your home repeatedly for bondage sessions in your garage, and you have no certs, and you look like a convicted felon...do not write us off as "close minded" when we politely refuse. We are into bondage. Just not in a garage with an uncertified guy that looks like a convicted felon.
* If we agree to meet, please hop in the shower, brush your teeth, and consider wearing clean clothes. You're supposed to get 15 seconds to make a first impression. That time is significantly reduced if we smell you coming.
Unlike other profiles, we aren't going to say "no drama". We prefer "no drama." However, we love a good story, and the best lifestyle stories have "drama". To avoid being one of our best lifestyle stories, please honestly communicate your desires and expectations ahead of time with your significant other.
No shortage of personality here! She is curvaceous, with beautiful, expressive eyes and full, natural breasts. An irrepressible, spontaneous creative, she will make you laugh with her quick comebacks, surprising you by saying the things most people think but never say (as well as saying a lot of things people never think!). She loves people who are real and comfortable with themselves. She likes to be in charge and prefers slow, sensual play. She'll throw in some agreed upon kinkery and/or erotic hypnosis at no extra charge...with your permission , of course.
He is very intelligent, educated, and a great conversationalist on a wide variety of topics, so smart women are a huge turn on for him--sapiosexual women make life worth living! He loves to laugh and make you laugh. He says that he doesn't care whether you are laughing with him or at him, as long as your laughing.
We both enjoy riding our bike, ATVing, snowmobiling, skiing, concerts. Love entertaining at our home. No ankle biters, crumb snatchers, teeny boppers in our home..in other words, kid free.
Tell us about your fantasies and/or real experiences.
This changes daily. We can talk about this when we meet in person. Everybody's got special talents...just do what you do best. We'll appreciate yours, if you appreciate ours. Watching my partner play with another women and having her get serviced all over at the same time, something about the latter that really turns him on.
Some experiences some great,some not so great but always looking for that perfect night.!WE love to entertain at home in our hot tub and start a fire just a few feet away for some cozy outdoor pleasure .go to clubs,love going to house parties,riding the Harley,boating,ATV's,snowmobiling,outdoor summer concerts,going out for wings and a drink.Say hello if you see us out and lets get to know each other..We have NO kids so we can be spontaneous.Bring your "A" game and lets experience all the things the lifestyle embodies.
What else would you like to say, do, see, hear about or learn about.
A few nights ago, a bunch of us swinging couples got together for dinner and a few drinks. Afterwards, at the bar, everyone was talking, the girls were dancing sexy with each other and I looked at my friend and said; "Damn we have a great life don't we?" Smiling he said "Oh ya!" We have friends in this lifestyle who are in their early 20's all the way to their early 60's and THAT'S what the lifestyle is all about...the memories you make. It's about the PEOPLE. Don't focus on the drama, embrace who you are and live this lifestyle to the fullest and have fun! Remember, it's just a little harmless sex!!